First spring sunset

Been waiting for this sunset all year.

Left the door open while taking the picture, and Lu got out onto the neighbor's balcony.  I had to disturb my neighbor to get her back.

My challenges and victories

A friend wanted to know some of my challenges and victories.  Wow, was that a good question. I've been thinking about it for days. 

Actually, I blog about a lot of those things. Like when I figured out I had hid from the world some kind of impairment (I was calling it autism, but who knows?) and it freed me. And of course, jumping Mothership was a big challenge and huge victory.  When I figured out I had never gotten over John in my whole life, wow, that is a challenge I'm still grappling with because I never let go of the feeling that he was one day going to figure out that I was the one for him, and he actually may have and I blew it and I'll never know and it will be a mystery forever, but it was a victory just to figure that out.  And learning how to use my new Mac is an exhausting challenge. Hey, I got myself up and dressed today!  And work has its challenges. Remember all my bitching about Fred Lowe? Well, he sent me an email today (about his project which I started the day before yesterday and just finished last night): "This is great! Thanks so much for handling this so well." I nearly fell out of my chair! Of course, that was immediately followed with "If you have time, I would appreciate it if you would revise it further by doing the following:

1. Change the font of each Country reference to 14 point (as I have done for through Colombia); [Poor Fred had wasted 10 minutes doing this.  I only spent 2 minutes checking that it was safe to change the style and then .03 seconds to actually change the style.] 

2. Insert page numbers (unless they are there already and I have missed it); and

[Yes, they were there already.  I'm a page number freak.  I add page numbers to documents whether asked for or not.  You try working on a document without page numbers!]

3. Add the country names and related page numbers to the table of contents.
[Oboy.  Of course Fred wanted the table in a table!  And I impressed myself by figuring out all I had to do was convert the table of contents field to text, then convert the text to a table.  Piece of cake.] 

I guess my challenge is getting through every day appreciating all the victories there really are in a day.  Holy cow.  That's inspired.  I mean I even inspired myself with that one!

Thank god it's March!

How powerful I am

to have seduced you away from sunlight

into my dark refuge

and still set off a spark in your heart.

Do you remember when love 

was rich colorful obsessed?

When we were forced onto small canvases,

while bursting alive from our own paintings

that were admired for their lovely

drops of colored water

that none knew were tears?

Coming December 2011: An American Christmas

My daughter just informed me that she wants to be here in USA by and for "an American Christmas!"  I'll be spending Christmas with my daughter and granddaughter this year!!  It doesn't get more exciting than this.

Mum's the word.

This morning I paid all my bills and pretty much cut my budget as the rest of the world seems to have cut theirs. And I'm protesting!!! I can't afford to leave the house. But at least I do have a roof over my head. I signed a new lease today, so I guess I'm no longer a "newbie" to my new neighborhood. I lied about Lulu's weight on the lease application (she's an embarrassing 1.5 pounds overweight). But seriously, who could resist this tummy?

And I'm still wondering where this blog is headed. I had wanted it to be a log of what I do, but that turns out to be problematic to those with whom I do things. Which is even understandable, it just has left me with nothing to blog about. The only person in the world that calls me Mum won't let me blog about her (yes, there is a little play of words in today's title). I can't even talk about compliments I received without violating confidentialities.

Cousin Phil emailed me that he finally read my review of his book on Amazon. He was amused that I had cleverly not revealed our familial relationship. I told him I was thrilled he didn't care, and immediately revised my review to reveal it. I even got bold and stuck in that Mothership parenthetical. Ooh!!

I explained my woes to Cousin Phil, and he responded with these quotes, which made me feel so understood I tweeted them immediately:

“There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.” – Red Smith

“Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead.” – Gene Fowler

That was the first time I ever conversed with another writer about writing.  It was a moment. And one I can actually talk about!
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
I feel like I'm just beginning
I feel like I'm just beginning to get my voice
I hadn't heard it yet myself
I can't believe what it is saying!
Which means I have no belief in myself.
Oh, but I do!
I so do!
I swear on every Bible!
I believe!
I prostrate myself before all that is holy
with no choice but to be a devout
Born Again
Believer
in my
Own Voice