I searched the entire internet, for “document center,” “document centers,” “word processing center,” and “word processing centers” and not only did none of those phrases come up in a blog, but none of those phrases came up ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET, and none of those words even came up on any relevant site. Nobody is talking about this stuff!! If you want the truth about word processing and word processing centers, you can only get it here on MY blog!
I AM THE SOLE SOURCE OF INFORMATION ABOUT THE HIDDEN WORKINGS OF DOCUMENT CENTERS IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE!!
All FREE to you, just because I have nothing better to do than gripe about my life! Many years of which were spent in document centers, word processing, document processing, whatever you call them “you need your garbage taken out? Have someone in WP do it, they’re highly paid technicians,” or “have the doc center deal with that crap,” have echoed through the hallowed halls of law firms everywhere. At least everywhere in my town, Any Metropolis, USA, and I know, because I have worked in a LOT of them in law firms in the valley, on the coast and downtown, as well as the scientific and engineering corporations way east and south where law firms would never deign to slum.
The biggest document center I ever worked in served 8 floors of attorneys, and was in this enormous room, with 6 word processors working round the clock in the front by the supervisor’s office (a wonderful lady I wish I had kept in touch with), and 6 proofers that worked in the back. Those proofers were FUNNY. Their banter among themselves kept me laughing all night long.
The smallest document center I ever worked in, I was it! Consequently, I was also the “tech department.” It was the first and only time I ever worked 9 to 5. I loved that place. They thought I was a genius no matter what crappy work I produced. I never intended to produce crappy work, but sometimes it just can’t be avoided. Something had gone awry with a program, and the best I could do on the amount of time they had (none), was to press a button on a faulty program that spits out exactly what they need, but full of errors, but it spits it out in 2 seconds. They didn’t care that it was full of errors they had no time to correct before filing with the court, they were just amazed and gratified that I even knew of such a program that could produce a mere semblance of what was needed so their filing wouldn’t get tossed. There’s no more wonderful feeling in this world than being thought of as a miracle worker, and I guess that’s what has kept me in document centers. That, and it was the only thing I knew how to do that anyone would pay me for.
When Jane Fonda made the film 9 to 5 (with Dolly Parton) she came into the document center at 20th Century Fox to check out how a real office works. She only looked around for a moment, saw me working furiously as my co-worker filed her nails while watching soaps on a pocket-sized TV, and Jane probably made the same mistake everyone does, that the center was far away from the action, in a windowless office, full of losers, and was of no account. She missed what everybody misses about document centers: We run the world. We service ALL the attorneys, and ALL the secretaries, and ALL the departments in the firm. Seriously, I work in a regional center right now. This is my region (see all those little white dots in the USA?):
We hold the fate of lives firm-wide in our flying fingers. It’s a dangerous life. I won’t even go into what could happen to an operator that inadvertently leaves out a zero in a document. Literally. I saw what happened to an operator that did that once. I've been a nervous wreck for 30 years from incidents like that, and deadline pressure. Document Centers have been begging their users for more time since my first job in one in the late '70s, while the users never fail to be amazed that we don't have a magic button to push and spit out exactly what they want in 10 seconds. Oh, so what does my firm go and do? Removes the least senior member of the document center and reassigns him as a litigation secretary. Ok, litigation secretaries like go to school to learn how to do that, right? This guy's last job before working in the center was at Lensecrafters. But, he was so essential to the document center that basically we are now getting comments like this recent one: "I have used the document center twice, both with very disappointing results." Our manager's comment: "She'll get used to it." Soon after we lost him, they saw fit to move another operator out of the center. This does not make me feel insecure about my job at all. Oh, and to add to all the stress, they are constantly changing my work hours. In fact, today I was so wigged out I worked an hour past my shift because I didn't know when it was time to go home until someone asked me when I was going home and I figured out I should have left an hour ago. Oh, and did I mention I'm 60 and completely burned out and praying every day I'll just get through the next 3.5 years when I can retire?
So, my search turned up nothing relevant. Among the irrelevant things it turned up was this email from "Region Twelve Headquarters" (whatever that is):
Written by Administrator
Thursday, 25 February 2010
A Typeable VRR is now available to all in the Document Center
Last Updated ( Friday, 26 February 2010 )
No website, nothing being advertised, just an ordinary email I might get at work letting everybody know that “A Typeable VRR” (whatever that is) is now available in the Document Center, only actually, I wouldn’t get that email at work! Everybody else would, but document centers are invariably not copied on any emails announcing the new things they do, and will not be informed they do them until some poor sap comes in wanting it. How far the shit flies is entirely dependent on exactly who that poor sap is. A secretary? A senior partner? Some poor paralegal pulling an all-nighter for a huge case, while the name partner on the case is home watching TV?
Anyway, it really creeps me out that the only thing that comes up on a search is that creepy email!
I still have an article somewhere about word processors having more on-the-job stress than air traffic controllers. I will find a way to link that article to this page so you can read it.
REMEMBER: YOU CAN ONLY FIND THIS STUFF HERE.
No comments:
Post a Comment