RIP Princess Di, II

I started this week wondering why I felt such a deep loss for someone I hardly knew.  But all week long as I ran into co-workers who all seemed to feel that their Fairy Princess was gone, I finally ended the week with the conclusion that this world lost another Princess Di.  


It's just that she was a secret one.  She was the White Witch behind the curtain making it all happen and nobody knew.  I think back to my humble beginnings (a nervous wreck from a temp agency after having a several year unexplained break in my resume) and I have been through a lot of office managers, and Diana's name was always mentioned whenever they were selecting a new one. Not mentioned like she wielded an iron fist, but whispered, more like Tinkerbell in designer gloves. She simply had to approve of what was going on. I have been figuring that out all week, like a giant mystery unfolding.  I can't tell you how I know this, but she was obviously behind the partners' holiday gift (a $100 bill) every year since the economy crashed.  Her secretary told me she knew everybody's name. "You might not think she knew you, but she did," she told me.


I have told everybody since I started working there that this isn't like any other firm in town.  I've never worked anywhere else where there was actual compassion in the workplace, and no class barrier between the partners and support staff.


I was surprised and touched that the firm kindly allowed us paid time off to go to her service, and provided transportation that included lunch. The reason I was surprised was because the firm seemed to have undergone a sudden loss of humanity that I had attributed to the stresses of the poor economy and all staff being stretched so thin.  But now I see it coincides with when Diana left on a medical leave of absence.  And with her passing, the compassion returned, and the firm did what Diana would have done.  And I'm only just now realizing how powerful she was, because she is still taking care of me from beyond. She just calmed me down so now my hands aren't shaking with sobs and I can type. I think she may just have become my guardian angel or something.


I had really lost my spirit somewhere along the way, I think even before David died.  It got lost during the Lost Decade (until I can find a better term).  And here was where I have been working for 70% of that Lost Decade.  I was meant to be here.  I think I just reached another plateau of my restoration.