Goodbye 2010

3/21/10

Seen on TV, 15 seconds long:

Host: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Peter Yarrow."

Peter Yarrow, in a dumpy backstage room, sitting on a chair with an acoustic 6-string guitar, facing a simple mike on a floor stand, sings the below in the style of a children's song, almost as if you can see the circle of kids around him on the floor. A blurb comes up for a short while that says, "Peter Yarrow/Peter, Paul and Mary".

When I had my colonoscopy

I had a question on my mind

Do we all look the same
When the doctor sees us from behind?

Then I had the answer
I felt like such a fool.
Because the doctor smiled and said to me
Your colon's really cool (makes a scrunchy funny face)

Host and blurb:  "Hear more of "The Colonoscopy Song" at cbscares.tv"


May, 2010
Remember when I bought my new used car in May?  This was the ad my credit union was running for a car loan at the time.

May 28, 2010

Email exchange:


Doc Ctr operator: I'm sorry, did you say "typos"?


Attorney: I meant the inevitable misuse of words by lawyers who constantly exercise their prerogative to change their minds about trivial things.


June 18, 2010

I called a consumer line regarding a beauty product and the recorded message said "your estimated wait time is one minute and three seconds." Honestly, I didn't count the seconds, but that turned out to be an amazingly accurate "estimate."

July 3, 2010

August 2010
I looked in the mirror and drew myself, wondering who I reminded myself of?

I reminded myself of the "Cathy" cartoon!!  I have her shape!

Ack!!

September 18, 2010
Note Ted left me.

September 20, 2010

I googled "mineral oil" and found dozens of comments about it, although I don't know what they were responding to. Regardless, Arbonne (a line of women's make-up) came up among them, which interested me because I had had some experience with Arbonne. I came across one comment so memorable I wanted to keep it for posterity:

"While it is proven that whatever you put on your skin *is* absorbed into your body -- I've found a *new* use for Mineral Oil. *Ready*?!? -- Use Mineral Oil to *cool your computer*. That's right baby. Liquid cooling. Drown your motherboard *and* power supply, video card, RAM, fans, *everything* into a small aquarium or container and drown it in mineral oil. It is *non* conductive *and* it absorbs heat very well. Deadly quiet. I'm using it now on my old P4 3.0 GHz. Check out Youtube and Google. Overclockers dream. But can be messy. Don't get any on the carpet. And yes, I use Arbonne products as well."

October 20, 2010
From Niece K's "too cute" gift calendar.  This is so true.  Even looks like Lulu, if Lu had long hair.

December 4, 2010

On the road:

• Old truck, cigarette hanging out the window, American flag, Auto Club sticker,  "Home Depot is my toy store" bumper sticker, something about how good a student kid is bumper sticker, plus too many others to make note of while driving - license plate:  FWILLY
• "Fire" painted truck with firy mudflaps and smoking exhaust - license plate:  VIPR DNA
• 20 year old dark blue 4-door, no bumper stickers - license plate:  GODIN ME

December 7, 2010

I have been using Bare Escentuals mineral makeup since the days when they were very exclusive and only had salons in Paris, New York, San Francisco and Los Angeles. They started making infomercials, but when the lip gloss I ordered arrived in this packaging I realized how truly trashy they have become. You've come a long way down, baby!

December 19, 2010
I swear this crossed my path today at a stop sign.  I'm not kidding.  Ok, the spaceship is a slight exaggeration, but only slight.

December 31, 2010

I did NOT want to come into work today.  Even Ted had today off, and Ted works for demon spawn.  I crawled out from under 2 warm down quilts and just pulled my jeans over the thermal underwear I had been sleeping in all night and dragged myself to work. If Helena Bonham Carter doesn't always comb her hair, I don't see why I have to. First, I left really late but got here in record time because I was the only person on the road.  Next, as I clocked in I walked into bagel heaven.  Apparently some new bagel company wants our firm's business, and sent over a dozen different kinds of bagels, cream cheese, pastry platter and fruit platter.  Any pastries with chocolate in them will definitely adjust my attitude.  Not to mention I felt like a kid in a candy store tasting cream cheeses.  Which I told my manager when she walked in.  Not that I wouldn't have traded this blissful experience for not having to have come in at all, which I bitched about to the next person who walked in, not that I knew her or had ever even seen her before.  I just felt I could count on her to agree with me, and she did.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, bagel in hand (is it polite to type if your hands are full?), co-worker is on the phone explaining section breaks in detail to someone in Silicon Valley.  Apparently his explanations are falling on deaf ears, because the coversation has now waxed to impatiently broken-recordish repeatings of, "it's best to just leave them alone."  Isn't Silicon Valley where all the computer geniuses are?

Checking my emails, I must say this one from the president of our firm touched me.  He could be full of crap, and I know there are people in the world that would assume so. But I'm not jaded, and if he really did mean it how could he prove it?  How else could he have said it?  What do insincere people say when they are being sincere?  And honestly, it's the way I feel about the firm myself, if not right now at this moment! 

I have read so many nice emails this morning from different people saying thanks to those they work with at the firm. Let me just take this time to thank all of you for all your hard work, dedication and commitment. I know that the past few years have not been easy. During these challenging times, a great deal of understanding and patience has been asked of you. As Henry Ford stated, "Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success." We have stuck together as a team, and have continued to work together as a family, which to me truly defines success.

I am very fortunate to have the opportunity to work with each of you. The success and accolades of our firm do not occur by working in silos. They happen as a result of the team camaraderie and hard work of our business staff and attorneys. Please know that your efforts do not go unnoticed.


Wishing you and your families a healthy and happy New Year. Looking forward to a successful 2011!

I mean, if I have to work today, I would rather read emails like that than emails like this one that just came in:  "There is no one in our Document Center today. I need this document opened. Can you assist and send me a pdf of the opened document?"

Surely, they'll let us go an hour early like they did Christmas Eve Eve.  And then my holiday can really start.  Or, I think I'll just start it right now.  Happy New Year!!!