That was then, this is nuts

So although the past is becoming more irrelevant with each passing moment, my life is a myth, and I may as well start to tell my story. I’ll start with right now, the only thing of relevance. Right now the only item in the in-box is the email announcing the holiday hours for the document center. There are home made cookies and See’s candy all over the office. Today we had Friday bagels, even though it was Thursday.  So far, this is a great day at work.

On Monday I had an awful misgiving that another recession was on the way and our office was closing. When I arrived to work the human resources manager walked in with my 10 year award and a hug. It was a magical moment. I placed it next to my 5 year award (they look exactly the same). Then I asked her where my co-worker’s award was? She acted all bitchy like she did when I got protective of a former co-worker. This time I didn’t care. This time I allowed her to deal with it. I protect my group. I’m fierce warrior mother. Get over it. She gave me some lame excuse. (I didn’t get my 5 year award until my 6th year, although my co-worker had gotten his. I suppose now it’s his turn to wait an extra year for his 10 year award.)  I still love Bitch HR Mgr.  She was a peach to me when David died, and I will never forget that.  She saved my job for 4 months in this crappy economy.


But this firm is also more loyal (although waxing bitchy of late) than any I have ever worked at, which is why I actually made it to Year 10.  The place I worked the longest before here they fired me just shy of my 10th anniversary, on the day before my birthday.  And that wasn't even the worst of that place.  I burst into tears when I was fired.  The guy firing me said, "why are you crying?  You hate it here!"  He was right.  Getting fired from that prison was a blessing.  The guy that fired me took over 3 positions (CAO, HR Manager and Office Mgr) after a merger, and had only been there 3 weeks, but my attitude at that place was legendary.  All the document center operators were totally out of control.   I still love those guys.  And we're all still document center operators, in all different places. None of us have retired yet. 

This is something I have thought countless times, but didn’t know I thought it until I read it in my niece’s blog. I am really in love with this niece. I fell in love with her when my nephew introduced her on their wedding website a couple of years ago. This is what she wrote:

“…did you ever notice that you can fall in love with people, non-romantically, similarly to how you fall in love romantically? That's how it works for me. An acquaintance turns into a new friend when I start making one on one plans with them or if that's not a possibility, maybe I connect more deeply with phone calls or blogging or emails. At first a new friend is almost a novelty - a "Yes! Someone new to hang out with" thing. A new world to discover and explore. And then one day, whether I notice it happening or not, I discover that I love this person, that I've fallen in love. And there's a huge difference. I may feel a rush of affection when I see this person. I may miss them after too long without hanging out. I may feel that love ache just by thinking of this person. It's wonderful. It's love in the platonic sense. And you can stay in love for years or forever, even when your proximity and your lives in general change, and change again.”

I am so in love with everyone. Because I love each moment. Even the ones that ache. There are so many things about life that I don’t like, but I don’t mind that.  Not even growing old. My body aches so much I can hardly dress myself any more, but I kind of like it. I have spent years hating my job, and the life career that I fell into. Now I love my job and the people I work with, even the people I don’t like. For one thing, the past year is the first time in more than 35 years that I actually worked during the day and got to meet the people I work for.  Of course, in this modern age most of the people I now work for are in other cities and I only know them by email.  But you know, when I walk around there are actually people around instead of dark, empty offices.

Today a secretary who sometimes helps us out with simple requests came in to see if we needed any help, and we didn’t, so we got to talking and she mentioned how document centers have changed over the years. I was amazed to be talking to someone familiar with 40 years of document center history.  I asked her what her observations were? She started to say, well, we used to be on cards. “Yeah…,” I encouraged her to go on. And tons of you guys in huge rooms. “Oh yeah, we needed huge rooms because the machines in those days were like little rooms they built around you.” Yeah, she agreed, knowing exactly what I was talking about!  And she continued with, “and the attorneys didn’t know anything about computers…” to which my co-worker piped up with, “and things have changed how?” After we all cracked up he closed the conversation with, “That was then, this is nuts.”