The Document Center Sees the Light

This is the first time I ever wrote a blog post as it was happening!


I’m having such a trippy morning! I walked into the document center and the lights were blazing! I felt like I was walking onto a movie set. I had much to say about it, but G, my co worker who has a sign at his station that says, “Mouth Open Already a Mistake,” remained silent for a long time before he finally said in his dry way, “Oh, so it was M (our night operator) who was pushing for this?”  I took that as his way of agreeing it was a bit much.


I rushed to log on, as an email came in from attorney GB: “Can I get this ASAP, i.,e. before the other project I sent down? Thanks.” As soon as my computer was up I emailed him, “This shall be done in the GB Department.” His reply (copying his secretary): “Have nameplates prepared and attached to a desk dedicated to me alone.” My reply, “Uh... I would try to think of a witty response, but a GB rush just came in!!” His response, “Jsut work, baby, just work......” (again, copying his secretary).


Then T, an entertainment attorney, popped in and said, “Whoa!!” I said, “I know, huh? It really is striking, right? It’s like walking onto a movie set. How do you like it?” He said, “Well, it doesn’t really fit the mood I’m used to, G’s classical music…dim lights...ambiance...”


Then the tech manager came in and said, “Wow!” I told him I feel so lit up now, and he said, “yeah, but you can see now!” I guess he would take the ergonomic point of view.


Then secretary J came in to kibbitz. “Are you guys working hard today?” she asked coyly, in other words, “my, those are bright lights.” I told her yes, I’m working hard, and I keep getting interrupted by people coming in and commenting on the lights!” She started talking about putting a pad on the lights, like a case for an ipod. I asked her, “did you just suggest padding the lights?” “She said, “Yes,” so I then asked, “What have you been smoking this morning?”  As the three of us cracked up G was inspired to finally open his mouth and offer melting down the bulbs and coloring them. J then contributed, “maybe I’m seeing the light of heaven, and I’m walking into the light.” I told her we should prepare for becoming a very popular place.


Next K, previous entertainment attorney T’s buddy, came in, looked around, and asked: “What’s different in here?” Long pause while I tried to figure out if he was joking.  He wasn't joking. He finally exclaimed, “Oh, the lights are on!” I cracked up and asked incredulously, "You just noticed? He said, “Yeah! I noticed!” I was kind of gaping at him, as he asserted, “I’m observant!  Extremely observant!  That’s what you were gonna say, right?” “Uh, no, actually, I was going to say you’re a little slow!” “That too!” he said, as he turned and left.


11:30: Finished GB’s job, and sent this email: “I would have gotten this to you sooner, but everyone keeps coming in here to comment on how bright the lights are in here now. I feel like I'm on display in a disco!!” G sent him a "DONE" email on his other job at the exact same time, so I told him he will be in hog heaven.  G told me that I will be in hog heaven because he’s taking “The Form.” This was a request to revise an Internal Revenue Code form, that we had been waiting a couple of days to receive in FedEx. I was dreading the arrival of that Fed Ex because I really didn’t want to have to do that form. So, I asked G, “Oh, the Fed Ex came in?” He said, “no, they pdf’ed it (meaning scanned it to Adobe and emailed it) which they could have done in the first place, and which I just decided not to complicate things by mentioning.” G has just been cracking me up all morning. He seriously lives with “keep mouth closed” as his mantra. So, I told him he was right, I was in heaven, and he was so good to me, and he said, “you only say that because it’s true.”


Well, my rush was finally done, I could make myself some tea and toast. I toss off fixing tea and toast as if it is an every day thing, but actually, this is the first time I have ever done it. In fact, I found out for the first time today that there is a toaster at work - and I don’t even have tea at home. But since I had nothing to eat at home but soy cream cheese and stale bread, I brought that and found some of my favorite jelly in the fridge at work and made tea, and it is a delightful breakfast (it is now noon), and I think I may just do this every day from now on!


Met my stoner friend in the kitchen and asked him if he’d been in the doc center yet. He hadn’t, and I told him it will be quite an experience.  As we down the hall he commented “oh yeah, wow!” just upon seeing the glow emanating from our door.


G just left on his lunch break with “try not to fall asleep.” He walked out the door, to return within a moment, climb up on his desk, reach into the lighting fixture and unscrew one of the bulbs. He came back a few moments later, pleased: “Oh, that makes a big difference! It’s like you can walk in here now and not feel like you’re getting hit with a hammer.”


More as this day develops!


Oops! I just spilled tea all over my keyboard!  And my chair and my clothes!  And tea kept dripping out of my keyboard as I held it upside down and banged on it.  And it still works.  It's a miracle!  It has got to be this light.  This divine light searing our eyeballs shines upon us and blesses all.

My “sensible eating plan with lapses as needed” and 5 minutes a day exercise program is working!

My back went out pretty bad recently and I started seeing a chiropractor in my new ritzy neighborhood.  During one of his weeks of treatments he casually tossed off the reason I was now crippled was my lack of core strength.  My mother had me in toe shoes by the age of 3 - you would think the idea of  core strength would have become ingrained in me, and I guess it had, because I freaked out!! Much to the chagrin of my new chiropractor, who had taken no note of what he had just said. I couldn't believe that I had so little core strength I couldn't hold up my own skeleton.

Up until that point my abhorrence to exercise overcame any motivation to do it.  But the idea of being crippled in my old age scared me, and inspired me to maintain core strength.  Of course, I’m not one to exceed my inspirations.  There was no way I was going to force myself to go on daily walks. That hasn't worked for years now. Or making myself go to the gym room daily. I have chastised myself on many an occasion. "Self," I say, "you are paying for that gym room, all you have to do is walk down there and use the equipment." I forced myself to once or twice, but just couldn't get into doing it every day. If I try actually committing myself to a strict daily exercise program all that ever happens is I feel guilty for failing to accomplish it.

I finally asked myself, "Self, what could you commit to?" That was the most brilliant question. It was like God slapped me upside the head and said, "THIMK, you idiot! Just do whatever you can commit to." I thought about all the things I had successfully ever committed to doing daily in my life and there is only one thing. Brushing my teeth. There are days I don't shower or get dressed, but a day I don't brush my teeth is a rare day, usually involving jet lag. Why? Because of how terrified I was that I would lose my teeth, and I have been going to the same dentist for 30 years because he taught me how to take care of my teeth so I wouldn't lose them. Here is my dentist and hygienist playing basketball after my appointment (I'm always the last appointment on Saturdays because I'm just not a morning person and they close the office at 1 pm).

But I digress. What could I commit to doing every day after I brush my teeth? For a while I thought I could commit to doing these great exercise programs I have recorded on my DVR. The belly dancing classes are yummy!!! But no, I couldn't commit to a whole half hour. I tried, didn't work. It didn't take too long before I came up with the answer of what I could easily commit to. I could commit to testing myself every day to make sure I had some core strength left at all.  “Can I still do 10 or 20 sit-ups?  Good.  I’m done with my exercise routine.”  Oh, and I’m talking about really wimpy sit-ups. Truthfully, those wimpy sit-ups kill me every morning. But I have been doing them daily without fail. WITHOUT FAIL! THAT MEANS I HAVE SUCCEEDED! HOORAY FOR ME!!

I think some call this depression.  My roommate thinks I’m an undiagnosed very high functioning autistic.  I think I may be an undiscovered genius that should write a diet and exercise book.  Because today a co-worker asked me if I was losing weight and told me I look good!  Holy crap! It's working! HOORAY FOR ME!!